Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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