So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
