they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Couch. On fire.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
