Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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