it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
