love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
