SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
our cab driver is having phone sex.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
