My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
