Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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