Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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