i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize