Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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