Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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