just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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