They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
