the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
