I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
