David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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