Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
