I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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