Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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