Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
