What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Porn is love you can see.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well I just put wine in my tea
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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