Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
