i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
