Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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