Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
