only if we run a train.
done.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
