i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
