whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
