he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
