remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
