I got chris browned last night
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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