'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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