There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
