OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How does it feel to date your dad?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
