i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
