My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
