I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
