what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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