I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
