i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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