At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I love having hate sex.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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