Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
