are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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