Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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