I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
