Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
