But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
