Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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