How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
40s are totally the cure
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
