You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
