You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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