Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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