someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The struggles of a small town man whore
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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