My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
