yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
