yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
