Soap is not a condiment
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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