Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
