i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
