just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
