Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize