Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
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