i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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